In less than a month I will turn 30. Thus far in my adult life I have gotten married, earned an associate’s degree, had a daughter, got divorced, re-married, earned a bachelor’s, and moved to a different state twice. During that time I have also worked for five different companies (some simultaneously), and started my own business.

After all that, I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.

As artist-preneurs, our lives are driven by story. Our products have stories, our business has a story, we each have a story. Every tale is unique, but I learned to expect a certain pattern. Rather, I expected a certain ending: artist works her butt off and is rewarded with a successful business and a full heart. Ta da!

So I began my story. After graduating with a practical undergraduate degree and finding an unreceptive job market, I launched Never a Plain Jane Designs. I was driven, devoted, and passionate about my work. Weeeeell… actually, I only embraced those particular adjectives for about nine months. After that, I was distracted, discontent, and bored.

Hold on there, Cinderella; that’s not how this story goes! I was supposed to turn out like Tara Gentile with her string of enterprises each fed by or a refinement of the endeavor before. I was supposed to be like Megan Auman, confident in her skill, artistry, and fearless approach to money. I was supposed to quit my day job and live happily ever after like Etsy promised.

For the longest time I thought something must be wrong with me. But reality is a serial disruptor and the media keeps it in the disappointment business. I had willingly allowed myself to be duped by the fairy tale. Those sellers featured in Etsy’s blog are the exceptions rather than the rule; possibly less than one percent as alluded to here. The numbers get even smaller when you consider Etsy shops make up only a percentage of the entire handmade/vintage/supply marketplace. Tara and Megan represent a different sort of exception. I’ve met them both so I know they aren’t out to dupe anyone into thinking their lives are perfect, but, by default, they can only show the public so much of what goes into their successes. I’m sure they too have given in to doubt and ennui a time or two. Also, who wants to read about or buy from someone openly unsure of her business decisions?

Let’s review, okay?

• If you have quit your day job or made sacrifices only to find you still aren’t happy with your entrepreneurial endeavor it is okay. There is nothing wrong with you.
• Running a successful business takes practice, just like throwing fabulous parties or sewing a great outfit.
• Practice equals experience. Experience has more than one type of packaging; sometimes it is wrapped in a college education, and sometimes it is hiding in one of a thousand unmarked tin cans that have to be individually opened and explored.
• Failure does not mean failure. It means make adjustments and try again.

I am at a crossroads. Not because I turn 30 this summer, but because the time for a decision is approaching. I must decide what I will practice next on my road to knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I am almost positive this particular knowledge does not come at a certain age, but with a certain level of experience. Now the time has come for exploring, planning, learning…

But first, birthday cake.

{Featured image via Shoebox blog}