| Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.
–Karl Augustus Menninger
Fear is something that is beating with our very heart beat when we are born. It is natural. It is expected.
As humans we fear what might happen, whether it’s physical or emotional. These things that we imagine might happen are all made up stories we create. These stories are at times necessary, and can truly stop us from making huge mistakes and doing something we can potentially regret. But in most cases, they are weight holding us back to do and become what we have the potential to be.
I asked some of my Twitter friends; What do you fear the most?
The beautiful thing is…we can learn how to beat our fears, it takes work but the end result is so worth it. This may work for you, and it may not…but below is what I have learned personally and from friends about how to beat your fears one day at a time.
1. RECOGNIZE YOUR FEARS– Believe me, you have them. We all do, it doesn’t matter your age, business or how much money you make. Your first step to beating them is to know who they are and write them down. You will begin to get the power back just by doing this. I also find it helpful (plus it’s the sociology major in me) to look back at my upbringing and past and look at why I may have the fear.
2. TELL YOURSELF IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL– Don’t begin throwing yourself a guilt induced too-many-cupcakes party. Beating yourself up about your fears isn’t where you should be going with this. Accepting the fears that have held you back and forgiving yourself for having them is the next step to freedom. It may have been a part of your story at one point…but it doesn’t have to continue to be a part of your life.
3. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN- This is an extremely important question that you should ask yourself whenever you feel fear rising up. When you answer this question you will see that the fear that has held you for so long isn’t fatal. I had to answer this question when I left my day job…and the scariest thing I could come up with is that we would have to live with someone because we wouldn’t be able to pay our bills. Is that life or death? No. Did what I was fearing happen? No.
4. DO IT ANYWAYS- Yep, I said. You have to lean into it, and feel it and just do it anyways. Anything in your life that is important, substantial and life changing is scary. Marriage, business, birthing children, sky diving, moving–they all come with fear. The opportunities that await you when you say yes to scary things are endless, your windows will open wider and your life will become more satisfying.
5. GET YOUR BIG GIRL THONGS ON- While you are in the midst of fear facing + going for whatever you have been afraid of you need to prepare yourself for a fight. At every point in my life where I have made the decision to go for it, adversity has struck. It will try to rock your boat, cause loads of doubt and make you feel stupid for “going for it” but if you are prepared and ready to fight you won’t go down. When I finally made the decision to quit my day job two weeks later my husband got laid off. If that wasn’t adversity, I don’t know what is. But, we held on tight to each other and our faith in God and came out stronger because of it.
6. WITH EACH DAY –CELEBRATE THE LITTLE THINGS- Facing your fears definitely calls for a bit of bragging rights + celebrating. Don’t take any lessons you learned for granted and even journal about how far you have come since writing down your fears.
|Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. – Japanese Proverb
How do you face your fears? I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below. And if you found this fear fighting article helpful, do share with your friends…they need to Nancy Ninja some fear too!
{Featured image via Alex Noriega}
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